no food for YOU!

I know that seems silly but you know, I have needed to do something totally drastic for a while which is why this blog series is entitled F-A-S-T. (and NO, there's nothing FAST about it-wow some fragments of time are harder than others!!)

I am participating in something called IGNITE YOUR SOUL through church. Some are doing a total fast where you can only have water for x amount of days. Some are just eating veggies, fruits, and cutting out all dairy and meats. This isn't a sick form of torture, I swear.
It is, after all, BY CHOICE....and time frame of 1 day, 3 days, 7 days, or the full 21 . A time for us as Christians to seek some closeness with God, to rejuvenate our souls and NOT give our body what it wants all the time-not just food, but usually BAD foods, sugars, etc. Some are choosing a type of fast that-like during LENT-you choose one thing that's hard to live without for the time frame-like meat, or chocolate, or TV, Internet, what have you.

I chose the juice/fluid fast for two reasons; one-because I have never completely fasted past two days, and two, because I knew the ONE thing that would likely BE the biggest sacrifice is FOOD. I can eat all day long because I have children, I am HOME with them-which means easy to make, tasty foods in the house. Let's face it, they are cheaper!

Here I am on day 6-on the way home from a very sad funeral, I decided the best way to sort of treat myself for lunch without blowing it, was stopping at Best Lee's off Southern for some wonton soup. I knew speaking with the woman there would be difficult-English isn't so good but I still tried to ask for it WITHOUT the plump, delicious wontons. She had me repeat my request and asked if I didn't want the onions and I said the onions were ok, just not the wontons, her next Q was if I wanted the crunchy noodles and I said no, I was fasting, she didn't get it, so I said, dieting, still a blank look, haha. So I got home without the wonderful crunchy noodles-which was good, but discovered it was like she DOUBLED the wontons in my soup and wow, it was difficult to say the least to scoop them out, one by one to set aside so I could sip down that most WONDERFUL broth. I gave our doggie a REAL treat today that's for sure!!!! I even stabbed my spoon into the wontons daydreaming it was my teeth biting into them-so much about eating is enjoyable-textures, flavors, etc. I am so GRATEFUL that broth helps satisfy the taste buds a bit because I am certain I wouldn't have lasted this long otherwise.
I am shocked, appalled, and slightly disgusted by HOW many times a DAY I have had to snap my hand back when reaching OUT OF HABIT to have a quick handful of whatever I am giving my kids for snack, or take a bite of what I cooked because I LIKE what I cooked and to ensure I seasoned it right. I NOW know why I have failed at my attempts to diet-in the routine of chewing and swallowing, it's easy to slip in a TASTE of what the kids are eating along with my plate of veggies and tuna or what have you-that taste ALWAYS turned into a couple more spoons full. NOT EATING AT ALL eliminates those internal PSYCHOPATH negotiations I have fallen prey to time and again. IT'S NOT LIQUID< YOU CAN'T HAVE IT!!!!!! EASY yet P-A-I-N-F-U-L! (except of course when I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered I had lost another 2.2 POUNDS since YESTERDAY MORNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) :)

I am learning about what GOD has bestowed upon my life,the many ways HE has been allowed to SHAPE me and at the core of who I am is a soul that wants to spread peace, kindness and joy. I do this best while at work, I am a server, I like to smile and have a good laugh with my co-workers, take good care of my guests, and laugh with them too if they are a friendly enough group. I had a manager there that gave me the nickname "Giggles" and it seems my whole life I have found that I end up with a nickname of some sort because people like the terms of endearment with me and it's good!

I have also, in the last couple days experienced the frustration of seeing a table of people I'd waited on before that were horrible to me but were in another server's section.
Two things were going on there in both instances-fighting the urge to give them a piece of my mind every bit as much as the day I was stressed out serving them and also, RELIEF that God spared me of having to wait on them AGAIN! HAHA
One good thing, I was able to forewarn my co-worker so they wouldn't have any high expectations and also was reminded how we are not to TAKE anything PERSONAL doing that job because the same couple that has left me NO TIP-after using a FOUR DOLLAR COUPON, TWICE-I might add, did the same to my friend. Totally different servers, and their behavior was exactly the same. Lesson learned.

My goal is to make it to the finish line with this fast, the 21 day mark, having consumed ONLY liquids, I am nearly a THIRD of the way there.
I am grateful for things God is opening my eyes to.....and positive about His blessings on this fast!!!!